The Peggy Yacyniak Story

      By the time I got back from the deli, she had already settled into the living room, her cat, Jessie, patrolling the back of the couch like a border guard. The bottle of valium had moved from the kitchen table along with the ingredients for her drinks to the coffee table. The TV was already on. I settled beside her, feeling the day’s revelations fading, her valium affecting me even thought I hadn’t ingested any, my limbs growing heavy, my weary minding easing into a pleasant numbness I hadn’t felt for a long, long time.   I could feel her calm breathing as she pressed into my side and felt myself reacting to her even thought she made none of her usual sexual innuendos. This was the way it was supposed to be with boyfriend/girlfriend, I thought, keeping secret the pack of condoms, I had purchased at the deli along with the turkey clubs. I still feared to set her off and didn’t want to lose this moment in m hunger to get something more. The TV reeled off programing I d

  When I opened my eyes the next day, the silent sunlight told me how late it was, a glance at the clock only confirmed the startling news, and for a moment, I couldn’t tell if this was good or bad. What did no early morning phone call mean? Was I in or out of favor and would she ever call me again? I should have been happy being out from under something I knew was becoming out of control but doubt gnawed at me and with this being my day off, I didn't even have the prospect of work to distract me. Then against all reason, I went over there Peggy's car was in the lot. Her music blasted in the stairwell so loud I had to bang with bold fists well she turned it down and yanked open the door what the fuck do you want she exploded the moment she saw me? My mouth hung open for so long she had time to pace the kitchen twice cigarette smoldering between her fingers of her one hand while the other hand clutched her ice rattling drink. I thought I stuttered that we mig

                  I fully believed Peggy would not want to see me any more after I left for work that night, and I cursed myself the whole shift, struggling even to get to sleep later when I got home.             The fact that I received no 11 a.m. call seemed to confirm my expectations, and I woke up at 2 p.m. feeling so down and out I just stayed in bed, nodding off a few times fore dragging my ass into the shower.             I nearly cut my nose with the razor when I heard the phone jangle in the kitchen and dripped my way out of the bathroom to pick up.             “Where are you?” Peggy’s voice demanded the moment I said, “Hello?”             “I’m here – at home.”             “I know that. What I want to know is why you’re not over here?”             I didn’t know what to say so I said nothing.             “Are you still there?” Peggy asked.             “Yes.”             “Are you coming over, or what?”             “You want me to?”             “No, I’m

              When we got back to her place, she asked me to come up.             I didn’t want to.             It was already getting late and I still had work to do, which meant dragging my was back the way we had just come to the mall.             Lack of sleep over several days had worn me down. I could hardly think straight.             “So you don’t want to fuck me after all?” she asked when I hesitated too long.             “I never said that.”             “Well, you’d better come upstairs, Alfred, or you may never get the chance again.”             So I went upstairs.             The first thing she did was to make a drink. She had not had a drink for the whole trip west and back, the longest period I had seen her go without one. Then finishing half of it in one extended sip, she went to change, returning in her usual skimpy t-shirt.             But she didn’t direct me to the bedroom.             Instead, she carried the sheets into the living room and